I’ve lived for some time now under a cloud that assumes negative anything I experience is because I’ve done something wrong. It has to be me. I’ve taken full responsibility for many things, and often those things aren’t mine. We all have things, and that’s okay…but they’re never all our things.

Praying today, I prayed per usual that God would use me to minister to and bless others, that He give me eyes to see when those opportunities came. Here I am. Send me.

Then I started apologizing and asking for forgiveness for allllll the times He gave me opportunity to serve Him and missed it, wasn’t listening close enough, wasn’t looking, too busy being selfish, whatever.

STOP. Wait, what?

Why, in my hopeful prayers and excitement to see how God is going to use me today, do I automatically pray under the assumption that I already messed up?  If I don’t FEEL used today, then I MUST have missed a sign and I wasn’t.  It must be MY “fault” I didn’t feel used or experience the joy of Godly purpose. There’s no way He’d just NOT use me one day when I offered.  OR, could it be that He knows JUST how tired, soul weary, bone tired I am? Or, is it possible that He DID use me and I just didn’t realize it? Well? IS it?

(Hint: it IS possible. Perhaps even probable. And you’ll drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out if you stay here.)

The accuser has taken up residence in our minds…but he can’t steal our hearts. We may be deceived into self condemnation for a season, but it’s a distraction….albeit a powerful one. And you know what? You are more powerful. WE are more powerful. Know why? Because HE is. Jesus has already overcome on our behalf. And He’s fiercely protective of your heart.

I’m once again grateful He allowed me to see the SELF-condemnation. Not. His.

My suggestion? What I’m attempting for myself? Acknowledge the lie. Observe it. But do NOT take it on. Acknowledging the issue, the attack, is incredibly important, to name it and what is happening in your mind. But that’s all it is. Thoughts. Not truth. God isn’t conditional in His love. WE may be at times, but He is not. Ever. I’m going to continue to ask Him to use me. I’m going to continue to watch for what or who He sends my way. And if I DO perceive a missed opportunity, I’ll acknowledge it, thank Him for helping me notice the “miss” and ask Him to teach me how to identify it the next time. I’m just going to thank Him for loving me and teaching me so that I can be even MORE amazing for His glory the next time.  And, if I feel no “usage” that day, I’m going to thank Him for the rest and down time to prepare for His next call. That’s it.

I welcome you to join me. If you do and sense a shift, would you share with me? I’d love to hear about how you’re experiencing His love and healing.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. -Romans 8:1-4