My pastor talked on the woman at the well at church Sunday.  It was compelling and I felt SO very validated in my desire to authentically share my heart for Him.  I felt like it was affirmation and permission, not a command, even though He’d have every right to command it.

Fast forward to this AM.  Tough conversations are being had, and I feel my authenticity threatened as I desire so badly to share my testimony of His goodness.  In prayer, He showed me something about shame and redemption, and how absolutely complete his redemption and perfect love are.

the Bible says that the woman, having spoken with Jesus, rushed back to the town and encouraged everyone to come see this man who knew all about her, could this be the Messiah? (John 4:28-29) But stop for a second with me.  This woman had slept with many men, had burned through five husbands, and was currently sexual with someone not her husband.  She carried so much shame that while most would travel to wells early or late to avoid the oppressive heat, she went at midday so as to not have her shame exposed and be reminded of and ridiculed for her failure.  I’m sitting here right now, waiting for nausea to pass brought on by very early morning heat, not yet relieved even sitting in front of an air conditioner as I type.  How deep did her shame have to be to, fully covered and in the heat of day, decide she was better off in the miserable heat?  That’s the (false) power of shame.

But: Jesus’ truth and gentleness compelled her so much, that despite what had to be shame of epic proportions, her excitement to share Jesus was MORE.  His grace was more.  IMMEASURABLY MORE.  Jesus goodness was SO great, that she rushed back into town and sought to share Him immediately.

Let’s take that one step further.  the Bible gives us a singular line, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?”  Folks, really?  The town whore rushes in after being alone at a well in the middle of the afternoon, women having been given no credibility in that part of history, says ONE sentence, and the ENTIRE town is like, “Yeah!  Let’s go see!”

No.  No.  That’s not how humans work in general, we’re the sort that has to be persuaded, and judgement is most often our first reaction.  In order to compel an entire town to “come see”, she had to lay out what Jesus had told her.  “Oh yeah? Like what?” the crowd’s response. It’s the only thing that makes sense.  This woman ran back to town and proclaimed to anyone who would listen ALL of her shame, every single awful thing Jesus had shared with her, about her.  He DID address it.  He DID speak truth.  But what kind of LOVE had to accompany His truth to compel a woman to literally pour every ounce of her garbage out for the world to see? The EXPOSURE.  People, I cringe just thinking about it.  It taps on every shame bone I have and has me (if I’m honest) secretly screaming in my heart, “Lady, don’t!  They’re going to crush you!” It was out of all of this…this woman’s testimony was born.

I’m glad she couldn’t hear me. I’ve listened to the lies and know first hand how easy it is to cave to the fear. Love and healing like that, experienced in that environment, SO encourages me to release my shame and proclaim my testimony too.

Don’t kid yourself. A crowd followed her to Christ, but I’m certain it wasn’t everyone, and I’m absolutely certain with my knowledge of man’s depravity that she received a lot of “you’re crazy, hush!” before those that followed believed.  And yet, she endured because she was SO excited, SO healed, SO set free.

Lord, today, show us our shame has already been overcome by the Blood of the Lamb. Out of this absolute forgiveness, freedom, and love, please correct my perception of myself. Please show me that I too am covered by the blood. Worthy. Whole. The struggles that caused such hurt and shame weren’t a surprise to you. You knew that they’d become my testimony. THANK YOU for the hurt. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for building my character and testimony even when all I feel is awful. Please, let me live today an Overcomer. I am saved, loved, and forgiven by the Blood of the Lamb, and my soul cannot and should not keep my testimony to myself. Here I am, Lord. Send me. Show me today I’ve already overcome, and let me boldly proclaim how Your goodness has rescued me and given me fullness of joy. Amen.

I want that. And I have it. We all do, we’ve simply been deceived into believing otherwise. We were created uniquely, perfectly and strategically…uniquely. Someone needs to hear YOUR specific story. No one can tell it but you.