If we’re completely honest, we don’t know what we don’t know. And we don’t know a lot so we have to rely heavily on the Holy Spirit and sheer humility to guide our hearts toward complete truth and love.

I often find myself thinking on John 8, a section of the Bible where a woman has been accused of adultery. While there’s a solid case for “don’t judge” within Jesus’ messaging of, “Let he without sin cast the first stone”, but that’s rarely where my mind turns. My heart turns to the woman in the street. The woman standing in shame, receiving no mercy, accused with no defense, and unheard even if she had one because of her female status. I’d tell you to sit and think about what that felt like for her, to empathize, but I know how easy it can be to take on shame. Shame we think we’ve earned, and shame we’ve taken on that never should have been.

It’s said, “you should be ashamed of yourself”. If I’m honest I’ve caught myself thinking it, but it checks my gut every time. The first and most obvious check is that such a statement is judgement. But really, I think my heart tanks for another reason. I know how it feels to carry shame, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Please don’t confuse shame with guilt. Guilt and conviction can cause us to change. Some guilt is the Holy Spirit telling us we’re not getting something right, lovingly dished, spurring us to increase our character. We can be thankful for that kind of loving rebuke from our Father. His heart can be trusted and he’s working it for our good. However, the devil masquerades as an angel of light, and guilt can very quickly present as shame…one of the very things Jesus came to save us from.

So let’s go back. Jesus asks where her accusers were, if she’d been condemned. She confirmed what He knew, and proceeded to say, “Neither do I condemn you. Now go and sin no more.”

You know what He didn’t say? “I forgive you but continue beating yourself up about your mistakes.” He also didn’t say, “Neither do I condemn you, IF you go and leave your life of sin.” Nope. He just said basically she was free and pointed her in the right direction. He didn’t say, “now come and follow me”, Or even “and if you don’t there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth”.

What does this tell us about His character? What does this tell us about the character WE should pursue? Jesus was there that day teaching and loving people, living the sacrificial life He’s called us to. This woman was being used by men on more than one level for their own selfish interests. This woman may have just been trying to survive…or perhaps even hoped to feel just a teeny bit of love or worthiness. To me, the second is far more understandable…and heartbreaking.

Jesus knew this about her. Jesus knows your heart too. And mine. He cares. He didn’t go in swinging, chastising, or making a bunch of if-then statements. He saw. He loved. He had compassion. He showed mercy and no condemnation….and none of it was qualified or based on her, or her behavior. It was based on HIM and HIS love. And friends, I guarantee that woman was never the same.

We don’t have to be either. We have eternal worth, and it’s nothing we have to earn, or feel like we lose when we fall short and take on shame. If you feel guilt, ask God to help you improve. If you feel shame, ask Him to help you identify His voice from that of the sophisticated fake. Shame isn’t yours to carry, it’s a lie from the devil. You are NOT your shame. YOU are loved. YOU are worthy. YOU are enough.