“And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins- and the wine is destroyed, and so are the skins. But new wine is for fresh wineskins.” Mark 2:22

Refining. Discipline. Sifting. Let’s be honest, obedience can be really, really hard.

I found myself wondering recently why everything felt so hard. Found myself asking God to bring me back to the place I once was, when I felt His constant presence, when everything felt so natural and joy-filled. Where did it go, and why did He seemingly allow for it to be taken from me?

Then I heard a C.S. Lewis quote, perhaps in “A Grief Observed” that noted that we shouldn’t hope for what we once were, God forbid. The season of several years of uninhibited joy He allowed for me to experience, it made me hungry. Hungry for The Word, hungry for My God, hungry for relationship with Christ, and SUPER hungry to share His Fullness of Joy with anyone I could celebrate it with, or spread it to.

But perhaps I lacked maturity. Scratch that, I know I did. Do. It’s not that the season was easy and it should have been hard, but in this life we will have trouble, and growth is work. It’s often painful. Pain is often exaserbated because we fight it with what we think we know; what we convince ourselves will help when we’ve been in the season for a while and try to overcome it in our own strength.

I’m choosing to shift my perspective. God gave me a big long taste of Him and I saw that He was so, SO good. We were connected in a way where I felt him leading me for perhaps the very first time in my life, really and truly. He gifted me this season so I could taste and see, desire more of Him.

I’ve said since Covid started that God didn’t get more distant, He just became harder to see through the fear. I wanted to be the exception that knew it, not the rule that felt abandoned. I became both, in that order…and eventually blamed myself completely. Here’s the thing: I know now that while I’m 100% responsible for my decisions, the evil one knew where to hit me, and God let him do it. Not to harm me…but to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future in Him. According to HIS purposes. He’s used me. He’ll continue to use me. And He knows better than anyone including me what needs refining, so I can bear even more fruit for His glory, and the good of His people than I had before. I’m now trusting in this season: I’m close. SO close to breakthrough of what He desires for my heart, life, and how I impact His people and kingdom. I’m choosing to be excited and grateful for wherever He’s taking me. Am I nervous? Yes. Anxious even? Uh huh. Lonely? Heck yeah. But you know what else I am that I’ve not been in a while? Excited. I’m excited for what God is going to do in the next season He’s prepared for me. And I’m excited He’s already there.

Rough road? Long? Hang in. Recall the love you knew before the apathy and fear set in…and allow yourself to get excited. He loves you. He’s loved you well…and He hasn’t stopped. Remember. Get excited for the “even better” you’ve been waiting for. He’s preparing us, you, the wineskin. New wine is coming.

New Wine – Hillsong