People pleasing. Makes me shudder thinking about it because it’s been an absolutely exhausting part of my existence. 43 as I type this and I’m tired.

But I’m also, for the first time in quite some time, excited.

My Father has been walking me through a tough season, and is showing me parts of myself I’m not pleased with. He’s showing me the areas of my life that cause me to feel the most shame, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m being shown what He’s ready to fix. I feel like He’s intentionally allowing me to see the parts He’s been working on for a while now, and allowing me to be an active part of the process.

This implies He wasn’t allowing me to be a part of the process before, but that’s not it. I CHOSE to seek out approval from men and women, to gift, to serve, to honor, or encourage for the sake of, at least in part, their approval. I wasn’t ready, and He knew it. He’s patient and His timing is perfect.

That’s tough to type. Even tougher to internalize. Look. God isn’t showing me all of this now because he wants me to feel like a jerk, nor is He telling me all of my efforts were self-serving. He knows I’ve tried to serve Him best I’ve known how for a very long time…but He IS showing me new aspects of my heart and intent, and is now pulling back a curtain on the reality of what I’ve falsely believed about myself and my intentions for a very long time.

I had a neighbor pointedly tell me on more than one occasion recently that she doesn’t invite me for what I bring or if I pay. They like me and enjoy my company. What? Could that be true??? I didn’t EARN my way into friendship? They don’t like me for what I have or what I can do for them?

I’m realizing that I’ve felt like I had to please people, a kind of pay-to-play, to prove my worthiness. I had to demonstrate why I was “worth” spending time with, terrified if I didn’t do it right, I’d not be invited the next time. Even OVERLY grateful for the inclusion.

Crazy talk. But exactly what God is revealing to me now.

He calls us to serve, to love well, and to be a cheerful giver of our time and resources. Not because we OWE Him, but because we LOVE Him, and sense His love in return has always been there. We desire to please our Dad and Big Brother. It’s okay to want to be a helper, and it’s okay to want to please your dad.

Think about a child “helping” a parent do the dishes. The parent doesn’t need “help” (chances are soap is everywhere), but He desires it. He calls our spirits to desire His pleasure in return.

Don’t do it for His approval, but because we aspire to be like Him. Because we love Him. Because we’re grateful He’s always loved us back.

Let Him be your perfect parent. He loves you, and He has tasks He’d love for you to step into. Step into them with joy, out gratitude and a desire to please your Dad. He IS pleasable. And I want to be JUST like Him when I grow up.