Work has felt all-consuming lately. I feel like I’ve lost sight of my most-important goal: People. First. Always. So, today I asked God to help me put people before my job again, to show me if it was okay to leave this job to regain my soul.  

In answer, He sent the girl next door at 1a.

I’ll step back. Today a coworker mentioned a crazy dream about a rep she knew sparingly, vivid in detail. This same rep reached out to her out of nowhere the very next day, blowing her mind. It led to a splendid discussion about how closely we’re connected in Christ and don’t realize. I say that to say this: our God is clever, and we’re all connected.

Fast forward: Tonight I lay awake fretting, and a mind-reel of “Come to Me” (Bethel) began looping, encouraging me that He’s all I need. He is my shelter, my portion. Should I worry about money if I quit this job that’s grown toxic? Should I step out and make a stand for, well, me? Am I worth it?

How about you, in your specific situation? Has something grown unmanageable and distracting from your purpose? Is He calling you to step out in faith, and trust He will provide? If He is, let me tell you: it will get progressively harder to ignore, and the discomfort will eventually overcome the fear.

The girl next door had specifically come to mind tonight because I felt I’d used too much dumpster with construction waste. I’d resolved to text in the morning offering to pay; the sense was random and had more urgency than necessary.

As the song played in my head, my resolution to contact Sam growing, my appetite stirred and I tiredly got up to eat…I wouldn’t have seen the missed calls otherwise. And these days…what are the chances I’m hungry? As I warmed food, I saw two missed calls from…Sam. I texted back, asking if she was okay, no answer. She called back, sounding odd and asking that I come, saying she shouldn’t be alone. Five minutes. Less maybe. I roll up, and two ambulances were already in the drive.

I wasn’t much help, but I was able to sit with her on the bathroom floor, He did allow me to pray audibly and physically for Sam, and for the paramedics who patiently let me finish the prayer.

When they left, I kept His creatures company, that didn’t know where mom had gone.

Today, I could have skipped talking late with my dad, claiming fatigue and ending up in bed earlier.

Leonard could have come back tomorrow to do scraps as he’d said originally, and I wouldn’t have “dumpster guilt” yet. 😉 I’m sure I could trace back further, but all these motions at once are enough for me. He sees us. He hears us. We are not forsaken…and we are all connected.

I write this at 2:30a, still sleepless. I’m going to be exhausted for work in the morning. BUT: my sleeplessness is not wasted tonight. My prayer this morning was quickly and poignantly answered late tonight. Sam was most important. Further, He used my struggle with sleep, gaining weight, and sudden appetite to get me to check my silenced phone. He used two of my biggest challenges to allow glimpses of the life to which Jesus is calling, to FOLLOW Him. A life where I care for the hearts of people, use my words for ministry and daily bread, and trust that my Good Father is all I need.  He will provide.

Today, I feel seen, and ever so connected.