Today I’m grateful for the relatability of those found in scripture.  In prayer this morning, the Lord gave me a vision of my life that paralleled Peter getting out of the boat in Matthew 14.

I’m in a boat.  I tell Jesus I want to follow Him, and I ask Him for His provision to do so.  I ask Him to allow me to love well.  For courage.  For fiscal resources.  For a supportive community to spur me on.  I ask Him to equip me with every good thing.  “Here I am, Lord, send me!”

I tell Him I want to serve Him and ask Him for the equipping…even so, I almost immediately feel the familiar creep of anxiety.  So, I say, “Okay…so maybe just tell me to get out of this boat one more time and I’ll follow for sure.”

He does.  I get out, test the surface, and begin to walk on the water toward Him.  I’m doing pretty well at first, I think.  But then…I look around.  Just as Peter saw the swirling storm, I begin to feel my finances buffet my face in a cold mist. I begin to see the lack of community spurring me on, the sudden loneliness so very heavy.  I begin to sense the familiar anxiety that is MY storm…and I begin to sink under the weight.

But in both instances, mine or Peter’s…Jesus still reaches out and saves.  He still pulls us up from the depths, releasing us from the fear that grips so tightly.

He asked Peter why he doubted.  For my part, I flash forward and see me sitting on the shore, soaked and wrapped in a blanket by a fire.  The question should be the same for me and in an unspoken way, it is.  Even so, in this instance, He simply sits quietly near me; He knows I’ve read Peter’s story.  I see in His eyes not the question, but a non-judgmental knowing of the answer.  And the “answer” in His heart isn’t nearly as critical as my spirit has come up with over the years.  In HIS heart, He sees me.  In HIS heart, He sees every moment leading to my present, and He understands.  There’s a melancholy in the silence, in the waiting as we both consider the struggle I’m experiencing.  I don’t HAVE to suffer, and He knows it.  Heck, I know it.  I just can’t seem to get the truth to click.  SO, we’re both patient in the struggle (haha Him infinitely more so than me).  We both know the end game…and we win.  He knows the struggle is the process that leads to my purpose.  My testimony.  And that testimony, paired with the necessary Blood of the Lamb, WILL birth my purpose.

It will.

He will.  Trust Him today.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future.”  -Jeremiah 29:11