I heard a talk at church a few weeks back that I have and intend to continue listening to.  Harvey Carey, a pastor with an incredible testimony and serving in Detroit spoke, and it was GOOD.  My husband even told me to listen, that he’d listened several times, and that is NOT him.

Harvey spoke to God’s purpose for us, a question I’ve been frustratingly attempting to address for the last two years.  He spoke to God perhaps putting you in a place that is uncomfortable for a season, but not putting you in a position where your ministry didn’t also bring YOU joy.  God wants you to be joyful in your service to Him, and the things about yourself that may have been deemed a negative character trait may be the strength He’s calling you to hone and use for His glory and our ultimate good.

Enter….me.  Wordy, wordy, me.  While never criticized for it in my youth that I can recall, in my adult professional and personal life, it appears to be a problem.  I enjoy writing, scripting and lively discussion…but have been told several times I use words that are “too big”.  When I try to explain myself in an attempt to be heard, to be seen, to be understood (something I don’t feel in general these days), I’m told to wrap it up.  And staying silent in a situation in which I feel compelled to speak…appears an impossibility.  In my worst moments, my words and sentiment are deemed irrational and extreme.  At some point…where does this NOT eventually feel like criticism and condemnation?  I don’t think it’s a mystery why I feel shame at who I am…but it’s taken until now to start to realize there’s something to address here.  Anybody else?

Here’s where I, we, get to make the shift, where I can apply the God-given truth Harvey highlighted in that talk.  God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.  That the experiences I have today are paving the way for sharing the testimony He’s allowing to be created in me.  AND: He can use me both in my personal life and in my professional. To believe differently is a lie from the accuser, attempting to blind us to our purpose.

Lord, please, in every situation, teach me what I’m needing to learn, and use my words for your glory.  Where eloquence is needed, please use my big words for your glory and the good of the hearer.  Lord, in situations where authenticity and empathy are needed, please use my testimony and help me to speak life into another soul.  And when I can apparently not stay silent…remind me you didn’t call me to be.  I may be the only voice…but you can and do use the one.

He can use us, and he does.  What is the world telling you you can’t do?  Which aspects of your character are criticized?  Is it possible the very thing you think a flaw about yourself is the exact thing Our Father wants to use for His glory and our ultimate good and joy?

A link if you’re interested, talk begins at 26 minutes:

https://northridgechurch.com/experience/talks/summer-series—wk-1/483/?autoplay=video