“I don’t want to be ‘that’ girl.”

But I am. We all are.  And we’ve come to believe there’s something wrong with that.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent decades fighting needlessly against the horrible image I’ve had of myself.  The self-judgement, condemnation and recrimination I’ve accepted as truth is epic.

I spend a lot of time telling others to show themselves grace when they’re anxious, confused, and not living up to their personal standards.  “Be gentle with yourself, He is” I say.  It’s never lost on me, however, that what I’m encouraging in another I rarely allow myself.

It begs the question: When I self-talk, would I talk to “that girl” this way?  If I know what she’s seen, what she’s been through, how she’s been mistreated, her striving, her self-perceived failure, the lies she’s chosen to believe, what’s she’s been told about herself?  Knowing all of this, would I squarely place this weighty blame on her exhausted shoulders?  No.  Not in a million years.  Neither does He. But I do it to myself all the time, rarely noticing I’m doing it…and it has to stop.  Now.  Right now.

So what would I tell her?  What should I tell me?

I’d tell her I see her.  That I like what I see.  She matters, that He hasn’t forgotten her, and won’t.  She’s special. I’d tell her she’s beautiful.  That she’s wholly known and fully loved by her Heavenly Father, always has been, always will be.  No exceptions. None.  I’d tell her she has purpose and God put her here to do incredible things.  That she has gifts given to her by Christ before the beginning of time, and there will be incredible joy as He unlocks her talent for His glory at the perfect time.  I’d tell her she’s the daughter of the Creator of the Universe, and he doesn’t make junk, or mistakes.  He saw this mess in advance and decided she was still a good idea.  That she has a Big Brother who defends her in every battle.  I’d tell her to wait and see, He’s already won this one too.  To rest in that.  She’s safe.  She’s not alone.  She is loved.

It’s so hard.  SO hard.  But it’s time.  It’s time we start showing ourselves the same grace we’re to show “that girl”.  Because there’s nothing wrong with her.  She’s just been made to think there is.  Watch out, world.  Blinders are coming off in Jesus’ name, Selah!