The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.   The Sovereign LORD has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away. Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. -Isaiah 50: 4-5,7

I one million percent believe The Lord speaks to my heart in my prayer times. I can get pretty down on myself as I constantly lose focus or find myself returning to the same, seemingly immovable topic. I criticize myself (with scripture no less) for “babbling on as the pagans do” (Matt 6:7). I then find myself self-rejecting and condemning myself because He deserves so much more of my focus. Of ME. Even when I try to focus on Him, I’m constantly having to recenter, often repeating myself, and regularly apologizing. It’s obnoxious to me.

I use a lot of words. I’ve been encouraged to use less, asked why I used so many, asked why they were so unclear, told I was misunderstood…and those comments have seeped into my mind and prayer time. I quite literally feel like I’m bothering God, going on and making a fuss over something I should have been able to figure out already. Looping a begrudging God into rumination He didn’t sign up for…all in my constant babbling on.

Hold up. This is contrary to everything we know of God’s character, from both scripture and experience. That can’t be accurate. My perception’s off; He tells us to give our burdens to Him, to learn from Him, that He’s gentle in spirit and will give us rest for our souls. He cares for us. (Check out Peter.) Okay. So if it’s not true, it’s not God. And if it’s not God and does not speak life, it’s borne of fear; the evil one himself, discouraging you from your God-given purpose.

What’s the intent behind these comments? Is it encouragement? Is it meant for constructive, loving improvement, or does it deflate my confidence and cause me to question even having purpose in the first place? As I’ve asked previously, what DO I know?

I know words are God’s gift to me, and therefore in SOME capacity my gift to the world (still working on that one). I know if we train ourselves to pay attention and identify the voices we’re listening to, we’ll start getting more familiar with the good. His sheep know His voice (John 10:4,14). While I’ll forever be honing and there are certainly instances where less words is more, words are a gift to me. Outward expression. An opportunity to manifest my heart. Further, God never gives us gifts simply to be enjoyed by ourselves. If He gifted, He also commissioned. He’s called us to use every gift He’s given us for His glory and our benefit. And what glorifies Him most is our pouring this fullness out on others. Yes, please. I will take my gift all. day. long.

For you it might not be words. But it’s SOMETHING. What has the world told you isn’t worth much but you know deep down is in you to be something special? To be used for eternal purpose? What caused you to fall away from this passion? Take the time to recognize the voices you’re listening to. It makes a huge difference. Humbly ask our gentle Jesus to show you where you may be believing lies, that He heal and replace them with truth, and that He use you for His glory.

He. Is. Faithful. You. Have. Purpose. Don’t let the father of lies tell you differently.