“I didn’t raise you to be so judgmental!”

Soul crushing words as my dad and I argued theology. I was in my teens. My parents had recently divorced, and I’d been pursuing a far too conservative angle in my efforts to connect with God; to make sense of my young life…in his opinion.

But he was my dad.  His opinion mattered to me, more than most.

So much trauma associated with the event I still recall vividly. So much condemnation from my earthly father, that I quickly internalized and have spent a lifetime trying to “correct”.  Perhaps his intent wasn’t to shame…to judge…but that’s what he did.  One day he will read this and cringe. Not a bad dude. But turns out: he’s human.

But I just truly realized: When I relive this moment in time, the thought of an older couple who saw me crying in the curb, as they drove out of drive thru, also comes to mind. It’s provided a mild balm I’ve not given too much thought to-date.

They’d stopped and called, “Honey, are you alright? DO YOU NEED A HUG?”

I was embarrassed at the time. I was a teen. Drowning in shame and inadequacy. A recent child of divorce, with two parents who did their best, but still having passed some of their “stuff” to me. 

I told this kind couple no.

I’d never needed a hug so badly.

I realize now: I do my best to love well and respect others’ boundaries….but MAN do I try even harder to give them that hug I can see they so desperately need…that I so desperately needed.

The realization is stark…and I feel so loved as my Heavenly Father brings it to mind…to heart.

Loving touch is truly miraculous in nature; in it’s ability to heal.

I am a healer.

Guys. I really and truly just realized this experience and my purpose are related. I’m beginning to see so much. And I’m excited.

Is anything eating you? Something stick, causing pain to this very day? Can you look back now and see, small as it may have seemed at the time, the love and learning that can be used now for His glory and the good of you and me? Ask yourself today: that thing I thought was only horrible…it was…was it also something else? Ask God to show you what He’s placed in your path that He intends to use as your present and future testimony. You may be surprised and feel more loved than you’ve realized in a while. Can we thank Him for fruit produced, despite fire?

Perspective is everything. Praise God for the shift in mine.