I’m single. Formally less than a year, but my learnings are from a fire hose. I’m pursuing self-advocation, self-care, and self- respect, in effort to resist shame that feels like my own personal kryptonite.

Sure, new men appear interested. Typically, I am not. Thing is, it’s not always single men who show interest.

So, I’ve been asking myself recently what it is about ME that makes men “spoken for” in some capacity think that I want their attention, or that I play that way. In prayer this morning, the Lord showed me that maybe there are things that I need to work on, but more prominently, He showed me that I was once again taking on the bad behavior of others, placing it on myself and telling myself it was my job to fix it.

I’ve been telling myself it must be a problem with me. That I am the problem.

*sigh* Again. I once again chose to believe an obvious lie, made more powerful as I claim “I am”.

Can we give me the benefit of the doubt for two seconds?  That MAYBE I’m kind, some think me beautiful, THEY lacked something in character, so THEY took their shot? Could it be as simple as that?  That while I’m a constant work in progress, I AM working on my self-awareness, and MAYBE they are not?

I have things to work on. Bet you do too. There could be something in my self-presentation and interactions that is sending the wrong signal. BUT, I’m grateful that the Lord showed me this morning just how deep and innocuous misplaced self blame and shame run.

I am not a problem. YOU are not a problem.

Heads up. Just a reminder today to be aware of just how tricky shame can be. Don’t bite.