In prayer recently ,I once again claimed my surrender to Christ, asking Him to “take the reins” of my life. I thanked Him for the lessons I’ve learned when I’d tried to steer the horse of my life without His direction, thanked my vessel for being such a trooper in what I’d put her through. […]
Humble Brag ;)
It’s not, but I know how it reads. 😉 The other night I met Jenny. Jenny said I was different somehow. Jenny said she was baring her soul and she’d just met me. She said there’s just something about me. I was meant for something big. She said I was a good person. I had […]
Earthly Fathers
“I didn’t raise you to be so judgmental!” Soul crushing words as my dad and I argued theology. I was in my teens. My parents had recently divorced, and I’d been pursuing a far too conservative angle in my efforts to connect with God; to make sense of my young life…in his opinion. But he […]
Worrying about this new paunch I’m growing…
Tomorrow I’m going to be sitting as an art model. I have zero idea what to expect, I’m nervous, but I’m mostly excited. It’s also January in northern Michigan. I can sense a spiritual shift in me in this solitude…and my appetite has been stellar. Breakfast last three days even; high calorie all-day deliciousness I […]
I’m still the exception
When C19 started, I thought I would be the exception. I was certain that while the world was about to experience fear on a scale it hadn’t seen in a century, I was going to be the one who reminded people they were loved, and that there was always reason to choose joy. And at […]
I’m not weird, I’m atypical
I have something people want. Authenticity. Terrifying for many, desired by the same. How do you feel when you see someone sincerely comfortable in their own skin? What does that experience look like? You may not know, there seem to be so few. In nearly any situation involving another human heart, I’m excited for the […]
A swing and a miss!
In continuing to build on my recent realizations that when I beat up on me, I’m also condemning the Christ in me, I thought I’d share an example. It’s simple, but demonstrates the pervasive nature of “negative self talk”, also lovingly described as “self condemnation”. ;). I attempted a nap yesterday. I wear a Fitbit […]
Condemning Christ
In prayer this morning I caught myself asking God to help me be nicer to myself; to limit all the ways I beat myself up over even the tiniest thing I may have done or said. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be sin, it can be anything, breaking something for example. It was […]
Winning Wars
Today’s truth: The Lord wins EVERY battle, and ultimately allows us to join Him in winning “the war”. In prayer today I thanked God that despite losing so many of my internal battles, He, we, ultimately win the war, thanks be to God. Immediately, however, my spirit said that wasn’t quite right. It said, “No, […]
Earning it
I’ve spent a lot of time attempting to “earn” the approval of others, human and Devine. In prayer this morning I asked most explicitly yet that The Lord reveal to me why, when I had the love and seeming “approval” of so many, I felt so much personal lack. I desire to be in close […]