Through my season of transition, I’ve had to find a new church community, and it’s been a long time coming. The fellowship I experienced before isn’t an option for me now, and it’s left a gap in my spirit that’s been difficult to fill. Even so, I was taught since my first allowance the importance of tithing. The church I was involved with in my teens emphasized the importance of being a cheerful giver, and I’ve been blessed enough to have married men that supported the obedience. I don’t say that to say, “look at me give”, but to say that I hold strong conviction in honoring this demand of our Lord.

Once my most-recent church family became unavailable to me, I still needed to give to a church community, so I selected a branch from the original, that had recently “split” under cordial circumstances. While having only experienced this community a few times, the Holy Spirit was SO heavy in each instance, it was a ministry I wanted to help advance.

Thankfully, I’m beginning in be involved in a church closer to me, and intend to shift my giving to “my shepherd”. The decision, however, has caused me anxiety in NOT supporting the church to which I’ve contributed bi-monthly every month this year. Even so, I don’t have the resources or spiritual conviction to fiscally support both. How do I relieve the dissonance?

I thought to write a letter to the pastor, a man I respect greatly, and explain that I felt I needed to support my local community now, and offer him all my best with the church’s path forward. Or maybe have my girlfriend on staff explain for me.

…but why?

As I prayed through this today, I realized it was less about my concern about their viability in keeping the doors open without “my money” (I mean, God advances His church and provides the resources, NOT me, how arrogant of me). It was more about what the pastor would think. What he may tell his wife. What would two such Godly people think of me? Will they also tell everyone at the “old” church their concerns are valid? Will they believe I’m fallen and backsliden, and this is the proof? That I’m no longer even giving, much less attending??

Stop.

What other people think of me is none of my business. What others assume to be the truth isn’t mine to defend. I’m responsible for me, and my actions. If I sin, I, “sin against the Lord alone,” as David proclaimed in the Psalms. And if people assume the worst, it’s way more about them than about me. I need only be concerned with pleasing and honoring my Father, and the rest will fall into place.

He knows the truth.

I’m not writing a letter. I’m not asking a friend to explain and “cover” for me. I refuse to cater to what I think the world expects of me, and in many instances does. I’m going to honor my Audience of One, follow His command to give to the shepherd feeding my spirit, and joyfully move forward in this new church community He’s blessed me with.

Care too much about what others think? Run your worries past The Audience of One. Ask Him what HE thinks. Honor Him with your obedience, keeping eyes only on Him, and He WILL make your paths straight.

He promised.