In prayer this morning I caught myself asking God to help me be nicer to myself; to limit all the ways I beat myself up over even the tiniest thing I may have done or said. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be sin, it can be anything, breaking something for example. It was […]
I’ve been trying
I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts. They come out through my thumbs just to get them out, so I can make it through a day sane, only to return to a pile of thought. Thought, I had assumed, I’d more-easily organize now that I’ve opened some head space. So far…nope. Just many, many more […]
Winning Wars
Today’s truth: The Lord wins EVERY battle, and ultimately allows us to join Him in winning “the war”. In prayer today I thanked God that despite losing so many of my internal battles, He, we, ultimately win the war, thanks be to God. Immediately, however, my spirit said that wasn’t quite right. It said, “No, […]
Earning it
I’ve spent a lot of time attempting to “earn” the approval of others, human and Devine. In prayer this morning I asked most explicitly yet that The Lord reveal to me why, when I had the love and seeming “approval” of so many, I felt so much personal lack. I desire to be in close […]
Price Tag
Our time, attention, and devotion have a price tag, and we get to determine the cost of access. I’ve found that as I claw my way out of a season of loneliness, I’ve allowed people to treat me in ways I wouldn’t ever “treat them back”. I meet a person who initially seems to be […]
Truth
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:32 A girlfriend called the other day, and said she had been compelled to share this verse with me. She said that I will know the truth, and the truth will set me free. Interesting timing as I work through the […]
Apologies
When someone hurts me/us, I’m initially met with confusion, aka, “I’ve got to be missing something, this person I put trust in wouldn’t hurt me like this on purpose, it must have been a mistake.” Assuming the best of people is an important perspective to take, but discerning where harm has been caused by mistake […]
Going to Hell
My sin, our sin, is going to Hell. Hell is something we don’t typically discuss, and if it comes up, its significance is typically lost on the observer, referenced in anger or flippancy. Folks, it’s real and something I don’t feel comfortable kidding about. Many claiming faith have even come to the conclusion Hell isn’t […]
Process of Becoming
Last night I went out and hit a local watering hole in effort to be social, make connections, and maybe sing a tune or two. It was a great night, although I had a sense of vulnerability I couldn’t put my finger on. As I made my way to the car, a female bar tender […]
Trusting too easily
Over the years I’ve found myself repeatedly pouring out pieces of myself hoping to be fully seen and known…and still loved “despite me”, as though I had to “sell” the best parts of me in order to be accepted with all my “bad”. I’ve found that the pieces of me revealed in confidence (and if […]