In prayer this morning I caught myself asking God to help me be nicer to myself; to limit all the ways I beat myself up over even the tiniest thing I may have done or said. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be sin, it can be anything, breaking something for example. It was […]
I’ve been trying
I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts. They come out through my thumbs just to get them out, so I can make it through a day sane, only to return to a pile of thought. Thought, I had assumed, I’d more-easily organize now that I’ve opened some head space. So far…nope. Just many, many more […]
Earning it
I’ve spent a lot of time attempting to “earn” the approval of others, human and Devine. In prayer this morning I asked most explicitly yet that The Lord reveal to me why, when I had the love and seeming “approval” of so many, I felt so much personal lack. I desire to be in close […]
Price Tag
Our time, attention, and devotion have a price tag, and we get to determine the cost of access. I’ve found that as I claw my way out of a season of loneliness, I’ve allowed people to treat me in ways I wouldn’t ever “treat them back”. I meet a person who initially seems to be […]
Trusting too easily
Over the years I’ve found myself repeatedly pouring out pieces of myself hoping to be fully seen and known…and still loved “despite me”, as though I had to “sell” the best parts of me in order to be accepted with all my “bad”. I’ve found that the pieces of me revealed in confidence (and if […]
One Body
Work has felt all-consuming lately. I feel like I’ve lost sight of my most-important goal: People. First. Always. So, today I asked God to help me put people before my job again, to show me if it was okay to leave this job to regain my soul. In answer, He sent the girl next […]
Try Harder v. Try Again
Falling. An inevitable and critical aspect of “trying”. So many have fallen after making great efforts, and are so discouraged, they never get up and try again. Yet falling is a part of the process. If it weren’t an expected part of the human experience, God wouldn’t have had to send Jesus. The world might, […]
I wanna help!
People pleasing. Makes me shudder thinking about it because it’s been an absolutely exhausting part of my existence. 43 as I type this and I’m tired. But I’m also, for the first time in quite some time, excited. My Father has been walking me through a tough season, and is showing me parts of myself […]
Don’t sweat it
I’ve talked before about King David, and that despite being described as “a man after God’s heart”, one of the mightiest kings in scripture was also an adulterer and a murderer. But it didn’t change his place in God’s sight. I’ve written before about focusing on the good, the love, serving well, because if you’re […]
No Qualifiers
If we’re completely honest, we don’t know what we don’t know. And we don’t know a lot so we have to rely heavily on the Holy Spirit and sheer humility to guide our hearts toward complete truth and love. I often find myself thinking on John 8, a section of the Bible where a woman […]